How To Stay Happily Married

With the divorce rate as high as 60%, according to some statistics, it appears as if our entire country needs a lesson on how to stay happily married. Not only married, but happily married. Believe it or not, it can! As a married, does not mean that your rights as an individual, nor should it mean that you disregard the subtleties and teasing, you drew your mate in the first place.

When I was young, little girls dreamed of knights in their meeting Glenzenden armaments, would whisk them away from their dreary lives, they hide in a small bungalow with a white shield fence and two cats in the yard. Ok, this is a part of a song title, but still, that what little girl of yore envisioned.

Things days have changed! Boy, they have changed. Our white knights are also looking for someone who will help you take care of them. Something unknown when I was a child. Men men were male, and they do not have to worry about any them.

Men can still masculine men, but today it is clear that women are sensitive men have the same needs, we women do. Men need to feel loved, wanted, respected, needed, and, above all, the desired. Too often we let our own selfish needs replacing, from our mate. That is not to say that wants to subjugate women and their wishes for themselves to men, nor vice versa versa.

What we need to do is to recognize each other of the needs and always aim for Fair Play. What is the chorus from childhood, which you probably still hear your opinion today? It is "That's not fair!" All a kid wants is to be treated fairly. We tend to forget after we get married, and complacent in our lives with our children mate.

When be in the mix, the indifference towards the marriage and marriage can degenerate to the point where married couples are sometimes no more to each other as roommates. What began as the embodiment of the Cinderella fairy tale begins, all manifestations of a Grimm's Fairy Tale.

What happened? Where did the magic go? If your spouse walks in the room where is the flutter in your heart that you feel, once so alive, so happy to see him or her? Realistically, we know that this intense feeling of love and puppies unbridled passion can not last forever. Should this be the case, we would never be with the rest of our lives. For God's sake, we would never go to work or housework. We would not know all the other rooms in the house were there other than the bedroom.

So how we can at least keep the embers burning with occasional sparks of passion pure? I am not a marriage counselor or a professional with a stretch for the imagination. But what I do, is 40 years of experience, a woman happily married� most of the time. This is not a fairy tale, so let's be honest, here. Life has its ups and downs and married life seems to have more of them than single life.

Here are some Dos and Donts then on how to improve your chances that the 40% of the marriages. We begin with the Donts.

I would say that the most important criterion for a happy marriage is not to marry too young! Sowing of wild oats and sow them with abandon. Enjoy your singlehood. Reach out and the experience of life all flavors. Travel, go to school, meet many new and exciting people. With a little luck and some hard work, you will be married for many, many years, and you do not want to look back, what you should have done, could have done. Just because all your friends are getting married and child from babies 1,2,3, does not mean you should. Do not have unrealistic expectations of what married life should be. Remember, you and your spouse are the same people as you were before you were married. If you were happy or miserable� then, the marriage will not change. Never for your spouse. This is probably one of the murderers graten marriage, in addition to adultery and money problems. Just because you are married, does not mean the Valentine's Day gifts should stop, or the calls during the day just to chat, and on and on and on ad infinitum. Never argue about money. This is a very difficult to maintain, but to try to, you have to, if you want to have a happy married life. Make sure you both on the same side when it comes to the finances before you get married. If one of you is a donor, the other savings, you prefer to have a sort of game plan before you go, otherwise aisle you walk right into the marriage, if not financial penalty. This is primarily for women - try not to the children from your husband� or at least try some rational "fair" balance. (Remember, "that's not fair"?) If women are mothers, something incredible happened with us. Something that other non-mothers can not understand. Our child (children) is now the most important thing in our lives. We are mama bear looking for our young scouts and damned anyone who tries to deal with this bond. But before we mothers were, we were mates, and we must never forget that.

Some important Dos

To make time for your mate. Every couple should be a Date Night. He does not have to be a Saturday night. It may be a Sunday morning brunch, just the two of you, or a night at the movies or dinner at some of the road, where you will not run into friends and spend the whole night talking with other people. Make this a time for you and your spouse. Always time for passion. A common complaint of spouses (although this is primarily a man of the complainant's), is that their partner is too tired for sex. If one partner is too tired, then the other partner should do what it takes to alleviate this situation, perhaps with the help of the courts or the vacuum and beds. Whatever it takes to resolve the problem. Just like the people who say that they never have the time, movement, there are those who say that they do not have time or are too tired for sex. Find more time. Lack of time or lack of energy is really only a pretext. Complete each other. It is not only the women who are on compliments. Men need it as well. If your husband looks particularly attractive not only think, and keeps it for themselves. Let them know right then and there that you admire that you appreciate them. If you think that your spouse is a great parents to let them know. None of us are mindreaders. Take the time to laugh. Laughter is good for our mental and physical health. Some advocate never go to bed angry. Sounds good, but frankly, a lot of us would be all night! Sometimes it is good, let cool slightly and they literally sleep. May cooler heads prevail in the morning. Fight Fair (here is the "fair" word again). Leave the past in the past and keep your struggles limited to the question of why hand.

Remembering you fell in love with your spouse, and to realize that the marriage is not always a 50/50 proposition (sometimes it's 70/30 or 90 /10), the treatment of your spouse with the same consideration and respect that you have a friend or employees who go a long way in the insurance a long, and yes, a happy marriage.

There is an old 30s or 40s song sung From Ella Fitzgerald, which says, "in every life a little rain must fall", and if it rains in your life, which they inevitably will, you will be pleased with the comfort and love to someone who has been on your side in the throughout the year. Someone you are not gone, because the idea that a temporary single life is better or that the marriage was boring and hard work. You can not sit on your patio in your rocking chair. Heck, you can dance and boogying with the best of them. And the longer one is married, the more you will see the person you chose for the rest of your life.

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